There's been issues with keys the last few days in our house. Saturday we locked both sets of keys in the van at the same time while we were at the park. We had to call a locksmith (The first time I've ever had to use one) And it cost big $$ for a job that took him 30 seconds. (Don't you just love that?) Then the rest of the weekend it seemed like we were playing lost and found with both set of keys. Chris would find his and mine were missing. I would find mine and Chris' were missing. It should have been a warning sign for things to come....This morning was a school morning and Chris snuck out of the house with out me hearing him leave. And of course the kids would choose a school day to sleep in. So when Alysiah walked in my room and I saw that it was 7:30 am. I went into freak out mode. (I'm extremely obsessed with getting the kids to school on time) I was running around yelling at the kids telling them to finish there breakfast and hurry and get dressed and running around like a maniac trying to get lunches fixed and Elijah dressed. Then everyones hair brushed and hooray we are out the door. Whew! Only a few minutes late when all of a sudden I realize......No keys! I could not find my keys anywhere. The kids are strapped in their car seats ready to go to school and I am running around crazier than a maniac trying to find my keys. I am sweating, my heart is racing and I have looked everywhere but no keys. The house has been ransacked and still no keys. I call my lovely husband twice to make sure he doesn't have my keys and finally I give up. The kids are way late for school and there is nothing I can do. I feel like a complete failure and wonder why in the world it has to be so hard. Why can't we just wake up get dressed and get them in the car and off to school with out the madness or the chaos. (Perfect world, right?) I go back to the car and get them out and send them to there room while I clean up the mess and try to gain my composure. Chris calls and tells me he'll look in his car and asks me to please calm down. Oh sure easy for him to say." I think to myself. "He doesn't have to deal with getting 3 kids dressed and out the door for school." Just then Josiah opens the door to his room and I loose it. Completely irrationally I scold him for opening the door and it all goes down hill from there.......Immediately I realize that it is not his fault I can not find my keys and I hit the floor on my knees. Humbled before the Father who has given me such a beautiful gift in such a special child, I cry out for His mercy to help me. That very moment I grabbed Josiah in my arms and just cried and asked for his forgiveness and apologized for yelling at him. Josiah wipes the tears from his face and says with a smile on his face "It's ok. I want to go watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse now." and off he goes. Happy as can be and oblivious to the torment I am going through at that very moment. But that's the beauty of Josiah.....he's forgiving and innocent. And that's the beauty of God and His mercy. God doesn't keep record of our wrongdoings when we humbly fall on our face before Him. He recognizes our shortcomings and then just like that forgives us for what we've done. My morning was bad.....really bad. But it could have been worse. The whole day could've been bad. Do you know the minute I fell on my knees and asked God to forgive me everything changed. He stepped in and all the chaos seemed to seize. I went back to the living room to clean and right there where I had looked over and over again......were my KEYS. On the couch that I had ransacked several times and still could not see them.
That is life......sin sets us apart from God and although we cry for His help he can not help us when we are apart from Him. Then we fall on our knees and cry out for His mercy and Voila! The blind folds are removed and what we could not see before, we can suddenly see.
The kids made it to school this morning.....they were late but they made it. I sent my husband a text to let him know I found the keys and he called me right back. I don't want to talk about it right now I told him and He kindly said ok and hung up. Minutes later he sent me a text that read: "Sorry you had a rough morning" Psalm 118:24. And he is right. "This is the day that the Lord has made, Let us rejoice and be Glad in it." He makes the good days and the bad days. Bad days don't have to stay bad. The KEY to having a good day is humbleness before Him. Admit our shortcomings, cry out for His mercy and watch Him make a bad day...good again. :-)
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I too have those mornings. I am obsessed with doing everything so perfectly: dressing them to look perfect, feeding them perfect heatlthy breakfast, getting everything for the ready, getting everyone out the door on time, forgetting nothing, and dropping them at their schools, with their perfect little outfits in place and their perfect book bags packed, at the exact time they are to be dropped off. But-it never happens. I either get delayed at work that morning, or one of them wakes earlier than on schedule and disrupts my finishing touches tothe early morning assignment (stressing me out), or the breakfast I fixed wasn't what they had hoped and now I am making a second breakfast after a breakdown by whichever child was disappointed, or the clothes are wrinkled, or stains I didn't notice before the dryer set them into the ever expensive uniforms, or one child wonders off to play with toys while dressing the other....everything never goes perfectly in place. I pray daily, that God remind me that although I am not perfect, He still loves me. And although my day never goes perfect...that I still love the gift I am given of having that day...
ReplyDeleteGlad to see there is another mom out there struggling with what I struggle with. That we do the best we can, even if it is not perfect, as long as we do it with God and with His love and forgiveness of our shortcomings, we are doing the best we can!